The four candles,,,

the 4 candles burn slowly, the ambience was so soft you could hear them talking…

the 1st one said, “i am peace, however, nobody can keep me lit, i believe i will go out…”
its flame rapidly diminishes and goes out completely…

the 2nd on says, “i am faith, most of all, i am no longer indispensable, so it doesn’t make any sense that i stay lit any longer…”
when it finishes talking, a breeze softly blew on it putting it out…

sadly, the 3rd candle spoke in its turn, “i am love, i haven’t got the strength to stay lit, people put me aside and don’t understand my importance; they even forget to love those who are nearest to them…”
and waiting no longer it goes out…

suddenly, a child enters the room and sees 3 candles not burning, “why are you not burning? you are supposed to stay lit till the end…”
saying this, the child begins to cry…

then the 4th candle said, “don’t be afraid, while i am still burning, we can re-light the other candles, i am hope.”
with shining eyes, the child took the candle of hope and lit the other candles…

the flame of hope should never go out from your life… it keeps love, faith and peace...

yawnz...

doom day... muahahaha... just finished my revision for the statistics test this evening...

hope the knowledge has been retained... sleeping time... fortunately it's an evening paper...

hmm... i better not wake up with a blank mind!!!

Blessed be Your name

this is specially for terence, huiling and all from cyan-chocolate..

i know the Lord is with me.. thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.. today's worship was wonderful.. i had to run off, lots to catch up for my paper i'm having tomorrow so didn't stay for the sermon.. but yah... the worship this morning touched my heart... been awhile since i experienced the intensed presence of the Lord like what i went through the same time last year.. what can i say, God's amazing in the way He moves.. i don't know how to explain this.. i'm pretty certain that many would have experienced what i did this morning in the context of their own situations..

this is the first time i heard this song "blessed be the name" but the lyrics touched me very deeply.. He gives and takes away.. in a time of sadness, confusion and even judgements, it's only through God that i may receive the strength to overcome what i need to... life is interesting.. people are difficult to understand... in a short summary of reflection... i think about when do i seek the Lord most..

when my life seems too comfortable, too complacent.. i seek Him because it seems as if besides God, there is nothing else i can want... God becomes the only unreachable but most desirable to fulfill my life..

when i go through trials and challenges, i seek Him for courage, strength, wisdom and guidance, for when i am weak, and the path gets difficult, it's most sensitive to experience the wonders of God.. i question why things were so, and why did i have to face it.. but i know it was all for a cause, His cause.. no matter what unveils eventually, it's according to His plan and He knows the steps i will take and choices i will make..

today, i feel strengthened... faith built... my heart still weak over some stuff, but i know, I will never be alone... God knows best my heart and my thoughts as He knows everyone of us..

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow

When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness

When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'

On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to sayLord, blessed be Your name

退一步...

退一步，让自己看得更清楚
或许，这是人生奇妙的地方

其中的欢乐无比，悲伤崎岖无奈
无常的生活滋味，成为人生道路的课程

一步步往前，一步步学习，点点滴滴的成长
仿佛到了尽头，却又像是一段新的旅途的开始

似乎感觉迷惑，乌云笼罩
正在等待天晴后的彩虹

我坚信，人生每个挑战，每次的成功或失败
当中都有奥秘，让我们慢慢的体会，渐渐领悟

...

i think i understand a little why some people wish they simply died or wished the world stopped... but don't worry.. it's not an option i thought of..

i know you will read this... it's not dedicated to anyone... it's what i'm feeling now that's all... and i don't want to explain anything about it to anyone that's why it's here..

disparity...

in the midst of revision for my test now... very distracted...

life is simply difficult... each time i thought things became clearer... dark clouds will start to gather... and everytime the clouds seem to disperse... a sudden downpour follows... the rain gets so heavy i gotta run... but i slip and fall... find the nearest shelter to hide... and wait for the rain to at least subside a little... just when i thought the weather was almost fine... i attempt to continue walking... then... lightning strikes again... i walk quickly... but now thunder starts to roar... someone came and offered to share an umbrella... i shared the temporary shelter... but it was pouring so badly with strong wind blowing... almost blowing the umbrella away... before i know it.. both persons are almost drenched...

when will the sun shine again? and which morning can i wake to see a rainbow? can i be taken away into solitary or vanish in a breath? lock me in a cave or something...

i love the smile on my face as much as i detest it to the core... i'm breaking down in bits... i dislike the face i see in the mirror... because it keeps away what is hidden inside this empty shell... jaded? who am i to qualify my feelings with such a word? i try to feel but paralysis overpowers... have i not felt or have i felt too much... life-weary? is that what they call it?

a friend, a soulmate, a companion, a confidante, someone who knows, someone who understands... someone i seek... but what have i for giving to deserve?

i'm even further reduced to smaller bits... so undeserving... so puny and so small... self-pity is the pathetic word i have for myself...

the beautiful ideal drawing broke into soggy pieces when the rain came... am i able to start painting again, i always tried after each storm... it usually turned out to be a better one... now i hold the brush... not knowing what to paint... have i been trying too hard to paint? each time i attempt... i put in more effort... and it got better... now my mind is blank... how to try harder? is there such a thing as trying harder? what is harder?

i miss the faith in hope... where did it go? i'm now restless... i feel sorry for my state... useless bum feeling sorry for myself as if it would help... why do i have no heart to do anything that could help?

a coward i see... wanting to embrace but afraid to open my arms...it's no wonder no one finds faith in me since i find none in myself... can i just fall into deep sleep and not wake to face the gloomy weather?

...

pride and fear cages hearts of people from giving and receiving love... another sadness of life...

Irritating... Idiotic... Uncivilized PIECES OF SHIT!

Hey peeps...

Came by my blog and found 2 strangers tagging the cbox with links to porn sites... I've deleted it anyway... probably some online database mass polution in blogs or something... anyway... just a note...

mel

hello

hey bros and sis in Christ! yeah.. i kinda left imdtly after service this sunday cos had to come back to start working on some tests and assignment due dates coming up..

been procrastinating.. and now still semi-procrastinating... very bad... but sigh... a certain load of distractions left me in some restless dazy mode... not been functional... but of course... i do know that when stuff have to done.. they have to be done anyhow...

the sad part about life is simply like how life goes on as a surface of perceptions and coldness in this world.. but who seeks beneath this facade to find and understnad true hearts and feelings.. my gosh.. how did i actually come up with that... have i started to follow, or have always been following the world in the slavery of society? why is it difficult to forgive? why is it tough to let go? why is it a struggle to stop the tears? why is it a battle to survive? why is it a fight to take each new step? why is it wrong to seek? why is it easy to comprehend yet almost impossible to accept? why is there a label of doing right or wrong? why is there "bad" if we know the "good"? treachery in life? or should i say irony? or perhaps the drama and joke of life?

i just read a book (all of you would know i DON'T read.. but this is special.. a gift from my dear girl... "tuesdays with morrie" a beautiful book.. reminding me of how i let "love" keep my life going since very young days... if you've read it... it's about how an old professor lived his last days by learning to value significance of living after he found out he was ill with a fatal disease... just some thoughts and reflections... life is odd but interesting... like a puzzle that you can solve yet may not understand... it is joyful yet depressing... you learn that you've loved when you've lost... you learn to treasure when you do not possess... but... when you didn't lose or possess... you wouldn't have realised the need to treasure or the love you had... it's as if simplicity is the key... as in.. we go back down to basics.. you know.. as a child.. we cry easily as much as we give and seek.. along the path of growing up.. the hurt comes in more forms like anger, pain and loss.. then we grow up becoming more mature as we are supposed to be... and understand these emotions... instead of loving and giving... we develop fear to give yet are hungry to seek and receive... which seems like an impossible to reconcile equation... until one day.. we know we are departing this world.. (assuming we die physically through sickness) then instantly.. everything becomes immaterial.. because we finally face the impermanance of life even we knew it was such all along and we knew well we would depart someday... but only till the moment we realise time was no longer our bargain.. then we go back to basics... of the emotions, memories and loves of our life that we will treasure so much more.. they return to us in our hearts becoming the most valuable things in life that are beyond valuation.. just as if they were when we had simple minds as children...

the reading made me cry... it was a book of simple words that touched my heart and reminded me of how i wanted to live my life and still want to... it's a very humanistic book...

just some sharing with love..

mel