hey sweet b****... yeah i know what you've written... fully understand it... i prefer to post my reply in my blog simply because, you know why... anyway i know you'll come by...
"motion doesn't equate to progression" i fully agree...
i'm probably one of those who has refused to even come clean with myself (you, the other of the same kind)... that's why i always depend on people like you... who simply reads me so well and clear to tell me stuff as if throwing me off a cliff... it somehow seems more acceptable being told off than to face how nasty, mean or pathetic i could be as a person... hee... k lah... probably not that bad lah huh... but you get me don't you?
having that conversation with you lifted my spirits alot... i'm taking courage... to face certain issues and choices better... making the effort to at least... i seriously can't remember when was it that i lost the "drive" which seemed to affect my whole life for a long time... but yah.. like you put it... we seem to be the type of people who wish that the world evolves around us than we evolve around others... selfish creatures aren't we? you know... last night... he told me that i am somebody who anticipates and fits certain expectations on people with the roles they play in my life, like bf = such behaviour; friends = such comfort zone; family = such duty etc... thinking deeper... seems true to some extent huh?
sometimes i even wonder... if i seek to help others simply to help myself in a way... like to feel more human... hee... k... before whoever else is reading draws some conclusion... this isn't meant to be some negative emotional entry... but she who's reading would truly understand in the actual context... others may interpret it otherswise, up to you really =)
you know... tonight i told somebody that i don't even fully trust myself... i didn't know how i came to make such a statement of myself... but you do know it's not based on nothing right... my mind or my heart sometimes move faster before i could understand fully... they sway around principles i laid and practiced for most of my life... i wonder... do i even understand myself enough according to my desires and needs... we'll talk more when we meet this weekend yah... i'm getting sleepy... better stop before i blabber rubbish in my own blog... heehee... hugz sweet b****, love you a great deal!
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ok ok...i know that my goals have been lopsided and absolutely achievable with that little bit of effort from me. as such.. i shall strive to stay a full year in my company. ok? its killing me already...saying it, setting it as a goal kinda grounds me properly...
(3) Stay a full 12 months in current wonker's company... ^^
i rather write here than there... i fully understand your blog entry cos it is exactly how i would have written it.. anyway, i think i need to clean up my act too. i have been too pompus and arrogant to realise that there is this emptiness in me which i need to fill it up by myself.... cos it was created by me and could only be filled by me... even indo cutie can't make me happy if i am unhappy.. agree? so its kinda a sub-goal...to be a happy gal who we use to be and attract happy people like bees to flowers... not just bugs and flies to shit..keke
Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.
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