she said i am gutless

what a joke eh? well, it has always been easy to look at things from a 3rd party's perspective, to be able to analyse and comment... somehow when facing our own situations... many a time i would think, we are not totally blinded, more like we, or i, refuse to face certain facts or truths that we know best ourselves... conclusion: my bestie said i'm simply GUTLESS! well i don't quite deny it since she is one of the very few who truly can read me pretty well and accurately... like some psychic...

i need to pull some threads together now... decision in life is pretty much about choices... what we want or do not want... and if we want it, how much effort do we put in for it?

it's probably not always telling the whole world about how bad or negative i feel... this sweet b**** told me that negative energy is what i've been emitting too much lately... which i guess is quite true... and its impact is spreading to people around... and of course myself too... don't like it...

so... trying to build that chirpiness once again... many people used to comment that... i look very happy... positive... blah blah blah... till a point... i just start to feel... that how happy you look or behave doesn't always tally with true emotions within each of our hearts... i still believe it to be so... but feeling negative sometimes can be addictive... so... time for me to snap out of it... it's like... smiling before you say "hello"on the phone can be heard through your voice =) and a smile is always therapeutic to one's mind and soul... and probably to those around as well...

anyway... i'm beginning a new chapter of my life soon enough... my 1st lesson is at 2pm today... wish me blessings to achieve the best out of my school journey in the next year plus... by the end of it... besides results, i wish that the process will continue to mould and sharpen who i am as a person... =)

love, mel