an experience i recall

today's cell group with choc-cyan was rather hmm.. refreshing? don't know what words to describe.. but anyway.. i recalled a certain experience i had during my exam period couple of weeks back...

i was stuffed with 4 papers back-to-back.. worst schedule i ever got.. so as people typically react, it's likely to pray more when you're "desperate" and in need...

that morning... as i was frantically flipping through my notes... i told myself, "stop to pray, i need to quieten down in my fluster".. as i put my hands together... i wanted to pray.. a sudden thought came into my mind.. a thought that i wondered why do i always blatantly ask from God? it's as if taking advantage of God. naturally, God gives according to his plan rather than "spoiling" us by answering us blindly.. but momentarily.. it just hit me that i didn't want to just ask from God like that.. it's like.. i wanna pray for my studies and exams... but.. i got sick of just asking so specifically for my desire to be fed... it's like, so unfair.. i ask and ask all the time...

so for that sudden moment.. i remember the song that gave me peace (titled: 祷告). it's almost like my pre-exam regime that i listen to it before all my papers =). well.. point is.. i then turned my attention to the morning blue sky.. opened my arms and closed my eyes.. i kinda felt God took over the place in my mind... it's refreshing... i didn't say a specific prayer.. but simply focused on Him... tranquility and peace filled my mind =) it's so sweet..

at the end of that paper.. the coursemate in front of me asked me how it was.. honestly, i thought i was a goner!! but.. the tenderness of the Lord is just so beautifully comforting and assuring.... the coursemate told me, that when the paper commenced, he heard a loud sigh from me (how embarassing! i didn't even realise it! hee).. but, he assured me not to worry, the paper will turn out fine, because, on hearing the sigh, he said a prayer for me to have peace and calmness to sit through the paper...

it's amazing how the Lord gives unconditionally and so timely.. although the results are not out, and i may still be unavoidably concerned over how i might fair, i know that the Lord was with me and seeing me through the challenges he designed for me to be strengthened by...

just to share with all,

The Notion of Divine Control by Adrian Chua

We must have a notion of divine control form powerfully in our mind, which means maintaining an attitude of complete trust in God. Prayer is not just asking, but an attitude of the mind which produces the atmosphere in which asking becomes perfectly natural.

When we have the notion in our mind that God is always there and the Father knows all things, depending on God in not an effort, it comes naturally when perplexities press.

This is the rule of the Spirit and it works on these principles – God is my Father, He loves me and watches over me, He neither sleep nor slumber and thus all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Why should I worry?

Keep the notion of the mind of God behind all things strong and growing. Walk in love, pray without ceasing and seek to live a life that is according to His perfect will. Nothing happens in any particular unless God’s will is behind it, thus, rest in perfect confidence and peace in Him.

“Do not be afraid… I am your shield , your exceedingly great reward…If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him” (Gen.15:1; Matt.7:11)