grudges?

hey there.. i know my mind should still be on my unfinished assignment.. but well.. can't help it..

i had a friend.. and i did treat her with a true heart.. i dunno what happened.. but she did something.. that i obviously felt betrayed.. and to some point insulted.. i was angry.. and it was painful.. but well.. it was in the long past.. though we dun talk.. it's nice to know that she's well..

some time ago.. i heard from a friend's friend about her.. well.. initially was funny.. i mean.. small world.. but i found it amusing when i heard that she said stuff about me.. a 'lil disturbed since i dunno the agenda of speaking ill.. but.. never mind.. what's past is past..

but recently, i heard again.. the same thing.. i really can't rationalize what's in her mind.. we're way outta each others' lives aren't we? almost 8 years since wat happened.. why can't she just let go.. speaking ill.. pardon me.. isn't simply gossip.. it's such a shallow behaviour.. (ok.. i'm getting agitated here) and in fact weird in this context, since it's totally based on unfound grounds.. and my.. going on for the longest time..

i don't know.. one of the ultimate characters who ever came into my life.. and never left it i guess.. sheeesh.. rather she didn't let me leave hers.. i know it's silly to be even the least bit affected.. but.. anyway.. i'm human with emotions..

if you (her lah) do read this blog ever.. you know what i'm saying.. i'll still say, take care, and God bless you.. and i truly pray that you learn to be real.. take off that armour that you've been putting on for far too long.. it is affecting your vision instead of shielding you.. in fact i feel it's paralysing you and hindering you from seeing the love* in life that you've been seeking..

* i don't mean love as in guy-gal love (knowing you, i've to explain) i really mean the genuine love in life..