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=) i left this place vacant for awhile... i came back at least once a day.. stare at this page.. attempting to put in some words.. but somehow never got anything up...

some moments, i dread to face the decision i made... because it's more painful than many can imagine... let alone the judgements made from people close or far...

i'm comforted that amidst this... some dear ones have took part in my life in very special ways and touched my heart deeply... my family rarely had any glimpse of my life... and sometimes.. it could be hurtful that they may see a different movie out of how i may be living my life... but i'm never more thankful to have my brother... that little was told.. yet he is with me.. i never learnt how to express myself better.. but i love him dearly..

though technically an adult for many years... there's still a long path ahead... a friend shared about challenges like a mountain some time back... i remember it vividly... i took the words as a good teaching... now... i'm taking them in yet a different way... i do not think i overcame any mountain... just that.. when facing the mountain. we mapped and climbed it... now.. i finish at the other side of it.. i look back.. not to remember it was a glorious victory... but to smile and give you and i a pat on the shoulder and say... it wasn't easy, but we completed it in our way... the bumpy roads, bruises we got, and the sunshine we saw... everything was beautiful... but now... we are off to hike our new routes and mountains... bringing with us lessons of how we fell, picked ourselves up, how we perservered, how we smiled... all written into an episode our life stories.. so that when we emerge on other mountains peaks, we could still wave and give a smile from afar =)

now, i'm enroute my new journey.. writing the next chapter... wanting to fill it with smiles and joy... inevitably, i could trip and fall, perhaps still shed tears.. but looking forward to embrace it all...